The temperature took a nose dive once the sun fell behind the stadium and the bothered Buckeye’s fans, already squished together from the narrow seating, pressed a little closer for warmth (and in the end, for emotional support). Like Voltron, the stadium fused into a sea of scarlet sweatshirts and jerseys, rushing together our voices (and for many, our curses), to form one massive super fan.  But unlike the giant cartoon robot fashioned from mechanical fighting space cats, we would be unable to save our #1 ranked football team’s undefeated record from utter destruction. 

A frosty light projected onto the Ohio State battle field. Both end zones were meticulously painted movie theatre carpet red. Imitating jack-in-the-boxes, we took turns sitting and standing in order to catch a view over the heads of our fellow fans of the feature film playing before us, which, I might add, was winding down to an increasingly scary ending.

In the meantime, however, we did our part by yelling out the letters of our state at the opposing team. Each of us secretly hoped that this would somehow put a stop to the Fighting Illini’s nasty offensive drives. Like an overly zealous spelling bee, the air quaked with “O-H’s,” and was promptly greeted with ”I-O’s”. Yes, we were more than proud of the fact that we could spell our state’s name. As fans, it was our greatest weapon.

To try the same with our opponent, Illinois, would be just plain silly. The whole sound of it would never do. And, if you’re talking specifics, eight letters go into spelling Illinois to our four. It comes out to be twice the letters. This means two ”O-H-I-O” rounds could easily be fired off to their one. To set a more accurate comparison, this would be like matching a single shot pistol against a semi-automatic. Illinois fans would simply not survive. Besides, by the time it took to get around to uttering the final ”s” to the long-winded state, everyone would be flat out bored.

Once the fourth quarter hit, we all basically watched as the Buckeyes continued to work out their plans to hand over a free trip to New Orleans. Ohio State lost 28 to 21 to what was once considered a mediocre football team. With hanging heads, we all flocked back to our homes wondering why God let Ohio State lose, and trying our best to figure out what went wrong with our Ohio chant. Last Saturday, the world just didn’t make sense.

Categories: Sports