Who’s There?
June 22, 2008 1:13 pmSince we bought our first house a year ago, my wife and I have adjusted nicely to home living, except for one thing. Whenever someone rings the doorbell, it throws our whole household into disarray. Our 9 pound dog starts yapping her Monopoly piece-size head off, and Jess and I suddenly go to acting like two parrots caught on fire. We dart madly about the house attacking each other with the same crucial question, over and over: “Who’s that? Who’s that?” This sort of thing usually continues until someone is able to drum up the courage to answer the door. And assuming the person at the door is still there, the other takes his place behind the couch peering at the door. That person (I’m not saying it’s always me. Okay?), having already dialed a ”9″ and a “1″ on the cell, will keep a finger ready over the final “1,” waiting, stiff-muscled, to the thump of his heartbeat in his throat.
This tactic is extremely necessary — and may or may not be approved by Oprah – in case our surprise visitor decides to grab ahold and make off with one of us. It’s not like we live in a bad neighborhood or anything. We are just neurotically suspicious. Besides, it has just been hard for us to adjust to the throngs of Girl Scouts in the area pushing Thin Mints.
Therefore, I have decided that from now on I shall wear jeans to bed. You just never know when that next knock at the door will be. And that scares me.
Categories: Life
4 Responses to “Who’s There?”
so sad, yet so true. i believe i’ve had our sharpest kitchen knife in my hand awaiting the reveal of a door-bell ringer myself…
honestly, what really caught my attention the most, is that phoebe’s weight seems to vary with each description of her in your stories.
Yes, Phoebe tends to weigh a pound or so less in the mornings, especially when she has her dog collar off. So, naturally, when I write my stories, I use either a morning dog weight, or if I want to go for the 10 lb dog effect, I use the afternoon dog weight index. If you think about it, it’s really not much different than the mysterious difference between Kelvin and Celsius.
Great writing man I could really visualize the whole scene!!! I can also relate. Last night somebody pounded on my door while I was working on the bathroom and I had all sorts of emotions going through me!
Today when the doorbell rang it was the mailman with a package. YAY!! Usually it’s the pizza man, sometimes it’s kids in the neighborhood asking my daughter to VBS. Once it was a door to door salesman that I didn’t want to talk to, but instead of saying so, I told him when my husband would be back. WHen he came back we found out he was selling home education software, specifically,ACT/SAT discs.
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